Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
