I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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