I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This girl is more easily done than said...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
