like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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