the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
