So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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