Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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