i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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