You're completely useless in the revolution.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize