im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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