I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
