I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
