mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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