Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
