i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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