im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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