I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
