"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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