She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
