is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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