Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
