Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
