I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
