You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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