Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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