Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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