when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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