you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
