Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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