every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
