I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you would pick up someone in the library
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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