I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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