the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
