He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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