I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
