In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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