All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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