so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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