I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
