Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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