i think my mom watched the whole time
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
True strength comes from lack of pants
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize