Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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