Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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