I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize