i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
