You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
