we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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