did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're like the curious george of whores
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
