i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
