I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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