we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
