Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
