there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize