Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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