Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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