just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
