There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
