Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
