This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
