No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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