what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
