just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
