I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need moral support for this bender
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
