what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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