I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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