I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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