how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
