does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
