stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
