New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
