ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
