my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
