You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
